Tonight I was stood in the chippy, minding my own business (for once), when I could feel to the left of me, someone staring at me.

Actually, staring was an understatement.

So I turned and looked and there with absolutely zero fucks and even less shame, was a chap old enough to be my Grandad, eyeing me up.

Was I dolled up like I was yesterday, in a frock as my Dad would comment & a bit of lippy.. no, I was looking like I’d just crawled out of bed a la scrubber styleeee.

“Want to come and have a butty with me?” Grandad quipped, “I’ll tell the wife to set another at the table love!”

Either I look like I need fattening up (which my hips, if they could speak would say, absolutely not fatty) or I’d just been hit on. I laughed, the chippy guys laughed and I…